Go Lose Yourself — In the Best Way Possible

When you're in the process of undertaking a task, and you don't have a clear path through the middle section, you keep trying. You change your methods. You change your style. You change the language. To an extent, that's fine and perfectly normal. That's just part of existing in the world.

But if and when you keep failing, and you keep changing as a response to those failures, at what point do you stop being yourself? At what point do you forget why you're doing what you're doing?

It seems like there's too much in our everyday lives — and maybe even beyond — that pressures us to not be ourselves. There are so many reasons for this. Maybe your values don't align with the people you work with, but you don't get to speak up because then you're the bad guy. Maybe you're trying to get a match on a dating app, and you're saying the things you think somebody wants to hear. Maybe something that should fall into the category of kindness and compassion is something that's now political, and you don't know what to say about it. All of these different pieces push you to conform and slowly erase who you are.

Without the right tools, techniques, and people in your life — without anchors — how do you stay true to who you are? How do you keep showing up in the world that way?

When I write, I consider myself somewhat of a creative. I like wordplay. I like goofy analogies and metaphors. I like drawing connections between things that don't necessarily make sense simply because it's fun, and because it lets me engage with the world as myself.

In the course of my life, I've gone through times where I just don't know what to say. I don't know how to say what I want to say. In those moments, when I don't have the support I need, I tend to retreat. Tend to say less, soften more, stay quiet. Because quiet is safer.

I think there's a right way and a wrong way to lose yourself.

Honestly, I think Eminem got it the most correct. You find the goal you want, focus on it, stay true to yourself even when it gets hard, even when you struggle.

The alternative is losing yourself to a place that's a lot harder to come back from, because it's a direction you didn't choose. You succumb to it. You don't know how to answer when somebody asks you, what do you do for fun? You can't remember the last time that time passed because flow states aren't a thing anymore. You drift away from friends and connections. You find yourself in a very lonely and isolating place.

So go lose yourself, in the best way possible. Be a little chaos gremlin and write what you want to write. Say what you want to say. Be yourself. As long as it's you, as long as it's real.